


Lonely Press Play- Damon Albarn

by rotg5311



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bonding, Drinking away the pain, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Peter Quill, M/M, Music, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, endgame spoilers, past gamora/peter quill - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-08 18:28:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18628825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotg5311/pseuds/rotg5311
Summary: ENDGAME SPOILERS TURN BACK NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Losing Gamora was like losing a piece of himself. Peter resorts to drinking and music for comfort.





	1. Sad Song- We the Kings

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall. This is my first Peter fic, also my first Thor fic, so... yeah it's not gunna be great. But I'm writing it anyways. Questions, comments, concerns down below please. Each chapter will revolve around a song.

The only good thing about Peter’s time on Terra was the music. He hadn’t been there that long, but Rocket had. And during his time, Rocket found more music then Peter could ever dream of. A small device made on special request by a literal genius Rocket had been in contact with. The technology was specifically designed for the Benatar which meant it connected to the stereo that had also been replaced and updated, while also being able to plug into a brand new set of headphones. There were more songs on it than Peter had ever seen in his life. Of course he’d never be able to thank Rocket enough for doing that for him, and the scientist who made it in the first place had passed away during the second battle with Thanos, so Peter couldn’t even thank him either. Thanos had taken everything from him.

Losing Gamora was like losing a part of himself, though he knew it was hard on everyone else, too. He could see the hollow look in their eyes. It was especially hard on Groot, who had come to see Gamora as somewhat of a Mother, or maybe even an Aunt. Then there was Nebula who had finally reunited with her sister only to lose her for good. But of course it hit Peter the worst. They had been in love. Hell, he still was in love. He had spent countless hours searching for her, knowing somewhere deep down that she was gone for good. Yet, he wouldn’t give up. Even when Nebula sat him down and explained that while she never specifically saw Gamora get dusted, she also knew everyone who came from the past with Thanos had disappeared. There was no reason to believe Gamora hadn’t been included in that, too. Still, Peter couldn’t let it go until he used every available resource at his disposal. It took him months to give up the search. That was the first night he let himself cry. The second night he drank. Then, every night after that was one or the other, and sometimes a mix of the two.

“Quill, come on. It’s the middle of the morning, do you have to be drinking?” Rocket gave him a disgusted look as he walked by Peter’s spot at the table. He had been there for… well he wasn’t really sure. But judging by the amount of bottles by him, it had been a while. They had all been so supportive of him at first, going out of their way to be uncharacteristically nice. But now everyone was getting sick of him lazing around, breaking things, and having a bad attitude.

“I am Groot.” Groot mumbled as he walked by. He had said it too low and quick for Peter to understand over the loud drone of music surrounding him, but he knew by the tone that it was nothing nice.

“What’d you say to me?” Peter could hear the slur in his voice. Groot ignored him.

“He said take a fuckin bath. You stink.” The song Peter had never heard before clicked off. Peter grumbled in response. He was in no condition to shower now. He could barely feel his legs and his head spun every time it moved. “Ok well you can’t sleep here. We’ve got stuff to do. You know what… Hey Thor, get in here!”

Peter grumbled again. Thor. It was like being around a ticking time bomb. When the two of them first met, it had been awkward, uncomfortable, and embarrassing. It hadn’t gotten any better since then. Peter was still tense around him. The only difference was that he wasn’t jealous of Gamora fawning over Thor because she was gone. It was a thought that left him bitter and sad. He wouldn’t even care if she was making goo goo eyes at him now, as long as she was there. But it helped his ego a little knowing Thor wasn’t attractive anymore. He had lost loved ones too and took it even worse than Peter. Thor was hairy and fat, but at least he was showering now. Those first few weeks before Thor truly snapped out of his depression had been Hell.

Sure, everyone still groveled at his feet like he was a God, and yeah Peter knew Thor technically was one, but at least it wasn’t because of his buffed out body anymore. Now it was something to do with his great personality or funny attitude or kind demeanor or something stupid like that. Not that Peter talked to him enough to know what it was for sure. They got by on ‘yes’, ‘no’, and a bunch of insults wrapped in false compliments.

“Get this piece of garbage off the table.” Rocket said loud enough to make Peter’s head throb. “Just pick him up. You may be fat but you’re not weak.”

Peter heard Thor’s unmistakable chuckle before he felt hands grabbing at him. A wave of nausea washed over him as he was hauled up in the air. He was so discombobulated that he couldn’t even figure out exactly how Thor was carrying him. Peter’s main focus was trying not to throw up.

“Put me down.” Peter’s voice was muffled by the thick mass of Thor’s shoulder covering his mouth. Well, hopefully his shoulder.

“In a minute.” Thor boomed. Thor’s voice was always booming. He was so damn loud. It was unnecessary.

Peter’s world spun again as Thor flopped him down on the bed. It took him a few seconds to focus on his surroundings. He was in his room, in his bed, covered head to toe in his regular clothes. How that happened, he wasn’t sure. Peter didn’t even remember getting dressed that morning. Rough hands grabbed at his jacket, tugging.

“Hey, hey. What are you doing?” Peter tried his hardest to swat at Thor’s hands, though he was sure that even if he was able to make contact, it wouldn’t do any good.

“Oh, relax. I’m taking off your jacket and boots. Stop struggling.” Another wave of nausea rolled over him as Thor manhandled him out of his signature article of clothing.

“Gunna be sick.” Was the only thing he got out before he was vomiting the pure liquid contents of his stomach onto the floor. How Thor got him into a seated position and leaned over the edge of the bed so quickly, he wasn’t sure, but he knew future Peter would be grateful. Throw up was easier to clean off the floor than out of a bed.

“Now, I was told you could handle your liquor, Quill.” Thor laughed once again and Peter let his eyes fall shut. Everything was so bright it hurt. “Obviously the Rabbit lied.”

“I can so handle my liquor.” Peter tried arguing back mainly because he still disliked Thor and wanted to prove him wrong, though it was hard fighting with someone you couldn’t even see. And as hard as Peter tried to glare at Thor, he just couldn’t keep his eyelids open. The world was too bright and spinny to see clearly. Besides, Thor was too ugly to look at anyways.

“Clearly.”

Peter was fighting his cloudy brain for the right words to say when he heard the familiar sound of his new music device click into place. He might have been grateful for Thor playing music for him if he didn’t hate the guy so much. It had become a habit of his to listen to music at bedtime in order to keep his mind off things, though it never really worked. Each night as he drifted off Peter thought of Gamora. Some nights were easier than others, though the nightmares were always present. 

“Without you, I feel broke, like I'm half of a whole.” The song played softly around him making his heart ache for Gamora. Drifting in and out he felt a tear fall down his cheek. “Without you I'm just a sad song.”


	2. Here Without You- 3 Doors Down

“I’ve never been one for Midguardian music.” Thor told them, laying back further in his seat. It was the first time Peter actually considered throwing him off the Benatar in ages. Instead he just turned up the volume, watching to see if it ticked Thor off. It did. Music and drinking were the only things keeping him grounded to reality, and since they had a mission and Rocket had to forcefully threaten him with pain if he got drunk, music would have to do for the moment.

Now he could pick songs by year, genre, artist, or title, so each day Peter tried switching it up in order to experience everything. Today's choice was “2000’s to now” or something along those lines. So far, Peter didn’t hate it, though none of the songs were really his kind of thing. But the fact that Thor specifically hated it enough to finally say something made Peter get a little more into the beats.

“A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face.” Peter froze at the lyrics, immediately letting his thoughts drift back to Gamora. “I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind.”

Groot sat with his nose in some new game Rocket had found on Terra, tapping his small wooden foot. Rocket was keying in the coordinates to their location, still acting as Captain since Peter hadn’t done so in months. Thor was juggling a bowl of food in his lap, choosing to sit and eat with them rather than at the table. No one seemed to notice the song and its meaning or even Peter’s rapidly approaching panic.

“I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.” He closed his eyes, letting the words wash over him. 

“I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams.” There hadn’t been a single night where he didn’t dream about Gamora. In fact, for the first few weeks after she died, whenever Peter woke up from a nightmare, his hands would scramble around the bed, feeling for Gamora. At first he would wonder if she was up getting a drink of water, and then the reality would hit his sleep-muddled brain hard.

“And tonight girl, it's only you and me.” Tonight, like every night before, Peter would dream of beautiful green skin and soft magenta hair.

“So where are we going?” Peter asked, turning the music down almost all the way. He didn’t even care about harassing Thor with it anymore. Not when he was the one getting hurt instead. “And how long is this going to take?”

“As long as it takes. Don’t worry. You can drink your precious little sippy when we’re done.” Rocket replied, not looking up from the control panel.

“Who says I’m going to start drinking as soon as we’re done?” Of course he was going to. He just hated Rocket for saying it.

“You know I’m surprised you’re not having a withdrawal already. I mean, it has been five minutes since your last beer after all. Shouldn’t you be sweating on the floor by now or something?”

“See, this is why you have no friends.” Peter swung his foot in Rocket’s direction to kick him, wildly missing due to the large distance between them. “Comments like that.”

“I am Groot.” Groot said, peaking over the video game in his hands.

“You’re right Groot.” Rocket’s body swiveled to look at the young tree. “I have plenty of friends on this ship. It’s not my fault Quill isn’t one of them.”

Peter was glad the two of them had gone back to their casual insults. Things were easier that way. At least he could pretend things were back to normal in those moments. Then a laugh from Thor snapped Peter back to the cold hard truth. Gamora was gone, and Thor and Nebula were acting as shitty replacements. Not that he hated Nebula or anything, the two of them had become close through mourning Gamora. But there was something in that strange personality of hers that was distinctly Gamora. Having Nebula around was a constant reminder of losing his Love. Thor on the other hand, he didn’t like him at all. He never has and he never will. But since everyone else loved him, there wasn’t much Peter could do.

“Didn’t want to be your friend anyways. I don’t even like you.” Peter grumbled. “I hate all of you.”

“I am Groot.”

“Not you, buddy. You’re the only one on this ship that I actually do like.” Of course Peter liked Groot. He loved Groot, though he wasn’t sure if it was in a Fatherly way or a Brotherly way. Not that he would ever say it. Peter was always squeamish around the Love word, even with Gamora and he loved her like no one else.

“Your words wound me, Quill.” Thor said. Peter wished just for once Thor would stay out of the conversation. “And here I thought we were friends.”

“Well you thought wrong, Tubby.” It was a low blow, picking on Thor for his weight. As much as Peter didn’t like him, he knew Thor had dealt with a lot. Losing his friends, girlfriend, Mother, Father, Brother, home, people, among other things clearly reflected in the weight he had gained since the last time they met. But it was so hard finding something else wrong with Thor to throw in his face.

“I wouldn’t talk if I was you.” Rocket got up to stretch before sitting back down. It made Peter wonder how long Rocket had been sitting there. Usually they took turns flying for long periods of time, but now Gamora was gone, and Peter was practically useless. As far as he knew no one else could fly the Benatar except the three of them. Had Rocket been taking breaks when necessary? “You’ve got a beer belly, too, Mr. ‘all I do is drink, sleep and cry.’ At least Thor helps out around the ship. Only thing you're good for is... wow I can't think of a single thing at all.”

Yeah, maybe Peter had gained some weight, but he didn’t think it was that bad. Maybe he didn’t have abs anymore and had lost the definition in his arms, but he was still in better shape than Thor…. Right? As for the being utterly useless part, even Peter knew that was true. He had done a whole lot of nothing for months on end. 

“Whatever. This is slander and I don’t need it.” Peter stood up and walked out of the room, with a determination to get back into shape. His diet could start tomorrow, but tonight he was going to drink for Gamora one last time.


	3. It's My Life- Bon Jovi

Getting back into shape was harder than he thought it would be. For starters, Peter had to give up drinking, which he wasn’t mentally prepared to do in the first place. Then, not only did he have to actually get up and move around, but he also had to actively start exercising. It was physically and emotionally exhausting and left him standing shirtless in front of the mirror asking himself if he really needed to work out time and time again.

Then Peter saw Thor doing pull ups in a doorway and it completely floored him. How dare Thor decide to get in shape at the same time as him. Now it would be a competition between them, like everything else was. It wasn’t something Peter could risk losing.

“I am Groot.” Groot said, walking into the common area. He was almost at the point of having to duck to get into doorways now, having grown like a weed in the past two weeks alone.

“Funny. No I haven’t had a drink yet today. And I’m not going to.” Peter rolled his eyes. Groot was in a sort of teenage stage and was overly snarky all the time. He would’ve gotten mad about it if Groot was just a little less funny and slightly more mean. Right now it was a nice balance between the two.

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah, big shocker, it’s been a week. Relax, kid.”

“I am Groot.”

“I am groooooot.” Peter mocked him, getting more and more ticked off by the second. “You’re an ass is what you are.”

Groot just smiled back at him, grabbed the game off his chair, and walked back out of the room. Presumably to go hide in bed again, but Peter could care less. As long as Groot stayed out of his hair for the time being.

“Kids aren’t supposed to be grateful.” Peter mumbled softly to himself. Its something he had to remind himself every time Groot talked back, acted up, or just pissed him off in general.

“I was.” Nebula’s soft voice came out of the silence, making him jump. He hadn’t even realized she was there.

“Yeah, and look where that got you.” Peter wasn’t trying to be rude, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Kids were ungrateful, that’s just how things normally were. Except, there was nothing normal about how Nebula and Gamora were raised. “Sorry.”

“It is fine.” She said emotionlessly. It was a defence she built up during her time with Thanos, and trying to break it now had proven difficult. The most Peter got out of Nebula was an occasional laugh or smile. One time she had even shed a tear or two when talking about Gamora. It wasn’t much, but it was more emotion than she had ever shown before. Peter knew Gamora would be pleased with the progress. It’s the only thing that made him try.

“So what are you doing here? I thought you guys went out.” They had stopped at port that morning. Unfortunately Peter was like 87% sure he was a wanted criminal in the area and didn’t want to risk leaving the Benatar. The Nova Corps didn’t have any pull on this side of the Galaxy to get him out of trouble. Instead Peter spent the day trying to find the right playlist for working out. Maybe the right music would motivate him.

“We did.” Nebula rolled her eyes at him. A surge of pride rushed through Peter at the display. Emotions could be tricky, but eye rolling was progress, and in all honesty probably one of the easier things to deal with. “But you sent me out with a group of idiots, you shouldn’t be surprised we’re back so soon.”

“What did they do this time?” Peter chuckled. Of course they managed to find trouble, especially in this area.

“We didn’t do nothing!” Rocket stormed in the room, throwing his bag on the table in front of Peter.

“Rocket, in all the years I’ve known you, you always do something.” Peter pointed out. Rocket and trouble always seemed to find each other no matter what.

“Thor did it too.” Mantis said, leaning up against the wall near Drax. The two of them always spent their time together. Peter wasn’t sure if there was anything going on between them or not. If anything they seemed to be best friends rather than lovers. Ew. Lovers. The thought made him gag.

“They started it.” Thor said, walking into the common area carrying a box. Like Rocket, Thor looked slightly beat up, too.

“Bar fight?” Peter looked from face to face waiting for some kind of confirmation since no one wanted to tell him the story outright.

“Somethin’ like that.” Came Rocket’s reply from the other side of the room as he was walking off, presumably trying to find Groot. While Peter had an actual reason for not being able to leave the Benatar, Groot had stayed simply because he wanted to. Peter chalked it up to teenage hormones, or whatever Groot had coursing through his veins. Or did Groot not have veins either?

“Quill,” Thor shifted the box from under his arm to his hands, extending it in Peter’s direction. “I heard you enjoy these.”

A thousand things raced through Peter’s mind, most along the lines of ‘what the hell?’ and ‘it’s a trap, but I don’t know how’. Slowly, he took the box from Thor’s outstretched hands, frowning. Did Rocket finally talk someone into giving him a bomb as a joke? Cruel, but not impossible. Or was it something worse?

Hesitantly Peter set the box on the table and opened it up. It took him a second to realize what was inside, but once he did his head whipped back up to stare at Thor. A dozen colorful pastries sat side by side, each wrapped in its own delicate paper. Peter had found the bakery years ago, and thought about it constantly since. One in particular was so similar to a dessert his Mother used to buy him on Earth that Peter cried the first time he tried it. It was a shame he couldn’t remember what the original pastry was called.

“No way.” Was the only thing he could manage to get out. Who had told Thor anyways? Of course he had mentioned the Bakery to Rocket and Gamora and maybe even Groot at some point. Rocket must have been the one to tell Thor, but that still didn’t explain why Thor had gotten them for Peter.

“Think of it as a peace offering… Captain.” Thor shot him a weak smile that made Peter’s head spin. It was weird. Sure, they hadn’t exactly gotten along, but he never expected Thor to bring it up, much less give him a peace offering. He wanted to be mad because these sweets were probably one of the best ways to get on his good side. Damn Thor.

“Thanks.” He practically had to force it from his own throat. Peter may be a dick, but he wasn’t a complete ass. Thor had done a nice thing, and the least he could do was say thank you.

“You know, this ones not too bad.” Thor said, turning up the volume to now forgotten stereo.

“It's my life, It's now or never I ain't gonna live forever. I just want to live while I'm alive, It’s my life.”

Sure it might not have been the work out song Peter was looking for, but he couldn’t help but press the little heart next to the song, adding it to the list of ‘favorites’ that he had been steadily growing. It wasn’t half bad after all, even if Thor liked it too. Besides, it’s the least he could do in an attempt to keep the peace.


	4. Old Town Road- Lil Nas X

The first time Peter saw Thor genuinely and truly happy came two months after their truce at whatever stupid thing they had going on between them. It wasn’t until that moment that Peter realized Thor had never truly been happy, but in a sort of default setting.

“We need to go back!” Thor boomed as he barreled into the cockpit, startling Peter.

“What? Where? Conjunction?” Peter was confused. Why would Thor want to go back there? They had literally been gone for just a few hours.

“Yes.”

“You know that’s not exactly the best place to be, right?” Conjunction was bad before, with its notorious black market and contraband tech, but after Thanos had destroyed almost all of Knowhere, Conjunction had become the biggest port for all things illegal.

“Yes.”

“Alright, buddy, I’m gunna need more than one word answers here.” Peter turned in his seat to look at Thor, surprised at the sight before him. Thor had clearly just gotten out of the shower, looking much cleaner than he had since the moment he stepped on the Benatar. Peter grimaced at the shirt that clung to Thor’s body. It wasn’t fair that Thor was losing weight faster than Peter was.

But the most noticeably different thing about Thor was his hair and the goofy smile plastered to his face. The first time Peter saw Thor his head had been shaved, so the next time they met he had been surprised to see the mass of hair knotted on Thor’s scalp. It had turned into a sort of dreaded mess over time, and Thor usually kept it pulled back. But now, it looked great. Beautiful even, not that Peter would ever admit it. It had been smoothed out like magic, perfectly straight, and gleamed in the Benatar’s dull light.  
“Hey, what’d you do?” Peter quirked an eyebrow, confused. It even looked like Thor trimmed his beard a little, though it was still thick and bushy.

“I met this man, at the bar, and he had many things for sale. But one in particular reminded me of the exotic oils I used on Asgard.” Thor fell into the chair beside Peter, still smiling like an idiot. “But look what it did to my hair. It looks even better than it did before! Not that you would know. You never got a chance to see my hair like this. But trust me, what I bought from him has done wonders.”

“So you want to go back to… thank him?” Peter still wasn’t following. All he could think about was how much Thor’s hair reminded him of his Mother’s hair. Well, before she lost it all. The same color, just minus the curls. How had he never noticed that before? 

“Well, I suppose I can do that, too. But I want to buy more. I only took a bottle. But who knows when we will end up back there? He could be long gone by then.” Was Peter crazy or was Thor giving him puppy eyes?

“So you want me to turn this ship around, get my ass kicked by Rocket for doing it, and go back to the most dangerous part on this side of the galaxy, all for your hair?” He couldn’t keep the confused look off his face. They had only been there so Rocket could do some shady backdoor deal that Peter could care less about. Hell, he didn’t even know what Rocket was selling. Or had he been buying? All he knew was that Rocket wanted to get out of the general area as quick as possible. Gamora had been the only one keeping them from doing the more questionable things, with her gone Peter had more or less slipped back to his old ways.

“...Yes…” The smile started to slip from Thor’s face and Peter found himself frowning again, though he wasn’t entirely sure why.

“Fine. But you get to tell Rocket why you’re doing it. He likes you a hell of a lot more than he likes me. Plus, you get to be my bodyguard, cuz I was serious about him trying to kick my ass for this. And you’re in and out. Get what you need and make it snappy.” Peter tried to use his authoritative voice, but knew it had no effect on Thor. If Thor wanted to spend a full day on Conjunction there was absolutely nothing Peter could do to stop him.

“I appreciate it, Quill. Thank you.” Thor said, placing a big hand on Peter’s shoulder. It was still instinct to try and shake it off, though luckily he managed to refrain from doing so. They had just recently started getting along, he didn’t need to go and ruin that by acting like a dick for no reason.

“Yeah, well, if Rocket decides to take off without you, I won't stop him.” Peter lied.

“Of course, Captain.”

It was something Thor threw out every so often, and it always made Peter’s stomach churn. He was never entirely sure if Thor was trying to be nice and recognize Peter’s status as the true Captain of the Benatar, or if he was saying to bust his balls. The second seemed more likely, but Thor’s voice made it seem that the first option was possible.

“And tell Rocket to put the music back on while you’re at it. I’ve been flying in silence for like ten minutes. Disgusting.” Peter shook his head as Thor walked away. A few minutes later the speaker next to Peter let out a small hum as it came to life. It took all of five seconds for Peter to recognize the tune playing around him. Instant anger washed over him.

“Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more”

“Rocket! Turn change the song!” Peter yelled loud enough for Rocket to hear him in the other room. It was a song they found weeks ago, and once Rocket found out Peter hated it, he found every possible opportunity to play it. Now was one of those times with the controls being broken in the cockpit.

“I got the horses in the back, Horse tack is attached. Hat is matte black, got the boots that's black to match. Ridin' on a horse, ha, you can whip your Porsche. I been in the valley you ain't been up off that porch, now”

“Damn Rabbit.” Peter whispered to himself. Rocket always got upset when he got called rodent or anything similar because it reminded him of being a lab rat. Whether Rocket realized a rabbit was a rodent also, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was just because it was Thor’s nickname for him that made it ok. Peter slammed his head back into the headrest, running a hand through his hair as he heard the volume turn up instead of down or even off. He wasn’t sure if this was punishment for agreeing to bring Thor back to Conjunction, or if this was just Rocket’s daily ‘mess with Peter’ time. Either way, he was going to take as much time as Thor needed on that shit planet, and then some extra just to agitate Rocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyyoooooo so my Dumbass has been saying the Milano, when we all know that never made it off Berhert. My bad, guys. But all mentions of the Milano have been switched to the Benatar now for accuracy. Sorry, loves.


	5. Sweet Child O' Mine- Guns N' Roses

Peter leaned up against the wall, waiting. They still had a fair amount of time before Rocket’s contact showed up and rather than wait with the others, he decided to stand alone with his headphones and think some things over. Like the fact that it had been well over a year and a half since he came back to life without Gamora. Or how he no longer thought about her every day, and that realization nearly broke him. He felt guilty still. Of course Gamora would want him to move on, but that didn’t mean he had to be happy about it. Remembering her in a good light without crying constantly was probably the first step to moving on.

The song blasted in his headphones a little louder than necessary. It was a new one that he found the day before and really liked. It was his tenth time listening to it. It was even one of the few Terran songs Thor liked too. The two of them had been bonding over music more and more lately. One of Peter’s favorite things to do was share new music with people, after all. 

“She's got a smile it seems to me reminds me of childhood memories”

Peter couldn’t help but wonder what Thor’s childhood was like. He had heard bits and pieces, but Thor wouldn’t outright talk about it, and Peter was too afraid to ask. Especially since so many people from Thor’s past were dead now. That never stopped Thor from smiling, laughing, and being so kind. Once he had stopped hating Thor it was amazing how quickly he actually started liking him.

“She's got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain”

One eye blue, one eye golden. It took some getting used to, and for the longest time Peter got hung up on the fact that the pupils were never dialated to the same size. He even offered to find a better prosthetic once, but Thor declined, saying that he had become almost as attached to it as he had been with his real eye. Then Peter had offered to alter it to match his other eye and Thor declined once again, telling him the gold was in honor of a fallen friend, Heimdall. Peter never brought up the color difference again after that. Over time he had grown quite fond of the mismatched eye. It was unique.

“I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain.” 

If there was one thing Peter hated, it was seeing his friends upset. Even Rocket, as much as the two of them argued. It was the reason he had stopped calling him anything rodent related, which always seemed to hurt Rocket in ways that Peter wasn’t cruel enough to do. But with Thor, it was worse somehow. Maybe it was because Thor always seemed so cheery, no matter what that whenever he was sad it just seemed odd. Peter had gone out of his way to make Thor smile more than once. The time Thor saw something in the crowd that made a single tear stream down his cheek, Peter felt his chest get all tight, though he didn’t know why at the time. Now he was starting to piece things together, and didn’t like where they were headed. Apparently the figure in the crowd had reminded Thor of his late Brother. Peter spent the rest of that day showing Thor anything and everything on Xandar to try and take his mind off the sadness lurking just behind those mismatched eyes.

“Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I'd hide”

Don’t even get Peter started on Thor’s hair. He wanted to run his finger through it and cry. It was nearly identical to the hair his Mother had once upon a time. Peter still remembered being young enough to be held, and every time a stranger tried to talk to him, he would pull her long golden locks over his face to hide. It was especially jarring for Peter when she went bald, because he was so young he didn’t really understand and no one wanted to explain things to him back then.

Sure, Thor’s hair wasn’t as curly as his Mother’s had been once upon a time, but it was the closest thing he’s found in the entire Universe. Plus with whatever miracle shampoo/conditioner or whatever Thor had bought from the man on Conjunction, his hair was beautiful. Everytime he walked by, Peter got a slight whiff of his hair and wanted to stand on his tippy toes and just bury his nose in Thor’s scalp. It was weird, and he made up for it by telling himself it was all related to his Mother. Peter was great at ignoring the truth.

“And pray for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by”

Peter chuckled to himself. He had been terrified of thunderstorms as a child, even going as far as hiding under his bed until his Mother coaxed him out with snacks and kisses. Yondu and the Ravagers had kneaded out all the silly little childhood fears from Peter’s young mind. He was no good to sneak into places if he was always too afraid of everything. Still, the fact that he now living with Thunders best friend, Lightning, was ironic. Maybe lighting wasn’t so bad after all. In fact, Thor had helped Peter through so much, even if they never really talked about all they had lost. It was a mutual understanding. A friendship built on loss. Peter would always be grateful for what he had found, which is why he tried so hard to ignore the sprouting feelings weaseling their way up from the depths of his soul because he knew they would only complicate things.

“Oh, oh, oh Sweet child o' mine” Peter’s breath caught in his throat as he watched Thor’s face light up in a smile at something Mantis was saying. He loved the little moments like this, when everyone looked so happy.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh Sweet love of mine” Letting out a smile of his own when Thor caught him staring and waved him over, Peter paused the music before tucking the headphones safely away in his pocket. Maybe later he would let himself dwell on whatever it was that he was feeling, but for now they had some shady business to attend to. He could pretend everything was fine for the time being.


End file.
